Limor Jasinski, a Mindset Coach for Kids and Teens based in Warsaw, founder of Wisdom Kids Academy, on transforming sibling conflicts into teaching moments

Picture this: Two siblings arguing over a phone, voices rising, tears threatening to fall. Sound familiar? As a parent, your instinct might be to step in immediately and stop the conflict. But what if I told you these challenging moments could become golden opportunities for teaching one of life’s most valuable skills: empathy?

Throughout my decade of experience as a mindset coach specializing in children and teenagers here in Warsaw, I’ve witnessed how sibling relationships shape children’s emotional development.

The Power of Empathy in Sibling Relationships

Recent research reveals fascinating insights about sibling dynamics. Children spend approximately 33% of their free time with siblings – more than with parents, friends, or alone. This significant interaction creates what developmental psychologists call a “natural laboratory” for emotional growth. The Journal of Family Psychology highlights that children who learn to navigate sibling conflicts by age 7 demonstrate remarkably better social skills throughout their teenage years, forming the foundation for emotional intelligence and conflict resolution skills that last a lifetime.

Understanding What’s Really Happening

Let me share a recent experience from my own home. When one of my boys couldn’t find his phone and needed to search for something online, his brother’s immediate response was a firm “No way!” to sharing. What followed was a typical escalation of emotions – but it became a powerful teaching moment about understanding others’ perspectives.

In my coaching practice, I’ve observed that when siblings clash, they’re rarely just fighting over phones or toys. They’re navigating complex emotional territories: feelings about fairness, personal boundaries, and the need for attention.

Transform Conflicts into Teaching Moments

Through years of working with Warsaw families, I’ve developed a practical approach that helps parents navigate these challenging moments. I call it the PAUSE method:

Pause the action: Create a moment of calm before addressing the situation

Acknowledge feelings: “I see you’re both upset right now”

Understand perspectives: Guide each child to consider the other’s viewpoint

Suggest solutions together: Encourage collaborative problem-solving

Evaluate and adjust: Check if the solution works for everyone

Practical Steps for Daily Implementation

Instead of immediately deciding who’s right or wrong, here’s what I’ve found works best with the families I coach:

Use emotion coaching language: “It seems like you’re feeling frustrated because…”
Guide perspective-taking: “How do you think your sister feels when…”
Validate feelings while setting boundaries: “It’s okay to feel angry, but we need to find a respectful way to solve this”

Creating Lasting Change

In my experience, the key to fostering empathy between siblings lies in consistency and patience. I’ve seen remarkable transformations in families who practice these skills regularly. You’ll know your guidance is working when you start noticing:

Spontaneous acts of sharing or cooperation
Use of “I feel” statements instead of accusations
Decreased intensity of conflicts
Independent problem-solving attempts

When Additional Support Can Help

While sibling conflicts are normal, I recommend seeking professional support if:

Conflicts consistently escalate to physical aggression
One child shows persistent difficulty with empathy
Parents feel overwhelmed by managing sibling dynamics
Existing strategies aren’t creating positive change after consistent implementation

Building Future Success

Through my years of coaching, I’ve seen how children who develop strong conflict resolution skills through sibling interactions go on to build healthier relationships in all areas of their lives. They show better emotional resilience and stronger social connections.

Remember, the goal isn’t to eliminate conflicts entirely – that’s neither realistic nor beneficial. Instead, focus on teaching children how to navigate disagreements constructively. Every sibling argument presents an opportunity to build stronger family bonds and develop crucial life skills.

About the Author

Limor Jasinski – the founder of Wisdom Kids Academy in Poland, and a fervent advocate for children’s development. A Tel Aviv native, Limor’s journey in nurturing young minds began early in her career when she worked as a caretaker for children, revealing her innate connection with them. This connection sparked a lifelong passion that led her across continents, from the welcoming communities of Canada to the enchanting landscapes of Poland and Warsaw.

Limor holds over a decade of experience in coaching, starting with her certification from TUT Coaching College and followed by advanced training at the Robbins-Madanes Training program in the U.S. She further honed her skills by earning a Practitioner of Excellence certificate from The Strategic Intervention Coaching Institute and becoming a certified Wisdom life coach for kids through Adventures in Wisdom.

At Wisdom Kids Academy, Limor uses the WISDOM System for Coaching Kids™, a part of the Adventures in Wisdom™ Curriculum. This innovative program, which includes 27 specially designed books, has been adopted by life coaches in over 30 countries to develop personal growth and leadership skills in children and teens. Limor’s curriculum focuses on essential life skills like resilience, self-esteem, and overcoming fears through compelling storytelling, enabling kids to confidently face life’s challenges.

Limor takes pride in her role as a coach, inspiring greatness and encouraging each child to dream big and develop a robust mindset for overcoming any obstacle. Under her guidance, children at Wisdom Kids Academy embark on a transformative journey of growth and discovery, unlocking their potential and achieving their goals with confidence and excitement. Connect with Limor: limor@wisdom-kidsacademy.com, Instagram, Facebook. Wisdom Kids Academy’s website in English.

Wisdom Kids Academy’s services

Explore our full range of offerings and real-life success stories on our website: wisdom-kidsacademy.com. Interested in personalized coaching or engaging workshops for schools and parents? We cover various topics of growth mindset, such as Strengthening Self-Confidence and Making Good Decisions. How do you instill values and self-responsibility at home? Visit us to learn more and share your experiences. Together, let’s enrich our parenting skills and empower our children for a brighter future!

Testimonial from a Courageous Young Climber: “I was always scared of heights, like really scared, but Miss Limor changed all that! After just one session with her, where she taught me these four cool steps to manage my fear, I felt like I could do anything. And you know what? I went rock climbing! At first, I was like, ‘Oh no, what if I fall?’ But then I remembered what Miss Limor said, ‘You can do it, you have what it takes, you’re safe, and everything’s going to be okay.’ So, I talked to myself, just like she taught me, and I did it! I climbed higher and higher, and it was amazing! I came back jumping with joy because I overcame my fear of heights. Thank you, Miss Limor, for helping me feel so happy and brave! – A beaming young adventurer”