Are you exhausted from the Christmas preparations? Is the atmosphere at home tense rather than festive?
Anna Hady, a family & relationship coach, explains why it’s essential to pause, consider family members’ needs, and set relationships as the goal of pre-Christmas preparations.
In daily life, we must see
that it is not happiness that makes us grateful
but gratefulness that makes us happy.
David Steindl-Rast OSB
Christmas will come anyway. Seriously! Christmas will come even if we don’t clean something up, prepare all the specialties, or complete the entire list of tasks we took on ourselves. Why do I start with this? We often come to this conclusion too late – when we are exhausted from the preparations, the budget has exceeded all expectations, and the atmosphere at home is tense. Well, maybe you could spare yourself these struggles and start preparations for Christmas this year, assuming that these days will come anyway, without your efforts. However, what depends on you is:
This can help take the burden off our shoulders, which, more and more often, prevents us from focusing on the essence of the holiday season and enjoying the unique atmosphere during the days and weeks before Christmas. In the family dimension, this period may strengthen relationships and often repair them. Listening to what occupies the people closest to you. Getting to know the fears, dreams, and worries of children. By choosing relationships as the goal of pre-Christmas preparations, we give ourselves a chance to receive a beautiful gift that we will not grow bored with and will never stop enjoying.
Probably all family members hope that Christmas will be a wonderful time. Everyone probably imagines it differently – children count on having fun all day and waiting for gifts. Parents indeed dream of a moment of rest and peace.
So, instead of turning up the perfect image of Christmas dinner, let’s give ourselves time for a break and silence to truly experience the taste of Christmas concerning our loved ones. Stop. Look. Go. American monk and missionary David Steindl-Rast proposes a return to the principle that we teach our children when crossing the road. Let’s learn to put STOP signs in our lives that will motivate us to pause not only in dangerous situations but also in everyday circumstances. By investing our attention in life here and now, we give ourselves a chance to appreciate what we have and to feel grateful. We need to look more closely at our relationships and the role we play in them. We need to change our perspective from the expectations we place on our children to the commitment and emotional availability we offer them daily. It can be challenging to see that not only may we be disappointed in our children’s behavior, but they also experience many shortcomings in their relationship with us. However, it is also liberating and can help reject the black-and-white perception of the situation, encouraging family understanding that takes into account the needs and feelings of all its members. The very moment we understand how much depends on the kind of adults we are and the kind of parents we are, we can move forward and create a new relationship quality. Dynamic family life and the changing needs of its members provide a unique opportunity to grow together. The behaviour of children reflects what is happening in their environment, and parents have the chance to take responsibility for this relationship and supplement it with missing nutritional values. Make yourself a gift The upcoming Christmas, as well as the New Year’s resolutions time, is an excellent opportunity to take a closer look at your relationships and your family members’ needs. By focusing on preparing ourselves and our loved ones for Christmas and on putting our relationships in order, we can give ourselves the best gift that will pay off for many years. Below is a table with 100 boxes to be crossed out – 1 for each year of life behind you. With each Christmas, there are more and more fields crossed. How much can you cross out already? There is no point in waiting for another opportunity – do some Christmas clean-up in your relationships this winter! Focusing on today teaches us to be humble and appreciate what we already have. And gratitude is the first step to happiness and a sense of meaning in your life. It is a gift that not only benefits us but also those around us. Anna Hady is a relationship & personal growth coach. She supports the growth of her clients by increasing self-awareness both in private and professional relationships, as well as in parenthood. Subscribe to our monthly English newsletters to learn about Poland. Once a month, you will receive a Newsletter: ‘Explore Poland with Kids‘. You will find there family-friendly destinations in Poland – beautiful places in Poland worth visiting with children – from city break destinations to hiking in the mountains (lots of practical tips!); things you can’t miss in Poland in a given month; dates to remember, holidays, observances in Poland in a given month so you can mark your calendars accordingly:
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